House Hold Rituals
July 14, 2011Making beds has been a ritual in my life for the past 16 years. As owner of a bed and breakfast, it is not only part of my job description; it is part of who I am and what I do every day.
There is a certain way of doing things in daily life that can be burdensome if done with the wrong attitude. Obviously, making beds can be one of those chores. My friends often ask how I can do this day after day. I have discovered, that for me, this is far from burdensome. I take the task to heart.
Making a bed has become a very sacred ritual with me. In knowing that my guest will sleep on the most comfortable mattress, in the cleanest, whitest, softest sheets, Ironed to perfection, I am accomplishing in a small yet significant way what I consider my main goal in life-leaving every day a bit better than I found it.
A number of my guests are here to interview with Otterbein University for a faculty position. In these tough economic times, many are new graduates from doctorate programs, carrying heavy loads of student loan debt. The job market is bleak, they tell me and the opportunity is extremely important to them. Knowing the stress of traveling, adjusting to new surroundings and trying to get a good night sleep before being grilled by a bevy of college professors, I try to make sure that they have comfort in their sleep here. I take my bed making very seriously- a ritual of sorts that completes my day.
In her book, The Joy of Ritual, Barbara Biziuo explains that we perform rituals in our everyday life without ever acknowledging the comfort they bring to us. She suggests that by becoming mentally aware of these rituals, we can enhance our lives and satisfy our “hunger for community and communion” in our lives. Rituals reach a deeper sense of ourselves:”expanding our consciousness and connecting us to the great mystery of life.”
My bed making begins with a clean slate. I have stripped the bed from the day before and changed the mattress pad and blankets as needs. Freshly laundered sheets, rinsed twice in lavender water then hung to dry outside on the line (weather permitting,) have been lovingly ironed to a smooth finish that makes them lay against the skin like silk. Then two fresh blankets- one thin blanket sheet and one heavier waffle weave for warmth, are carefully laid out and tucked in with mitered corners on the side taught to me by my mother who learned proper bed making in nursing school.
With sheets and blankets pulled tightly and tucked, I spread out the silk or velvet comforter on top. In warmer weather, I trade these out for cotton matelasse bedspreads and shams. Fluffing pillows and arranging them, I finish with a newly folded down comforter at the foot of the bed- just inviting my new guest to kick their shoes off, crawl on top and snuggle in for a nap. (And many do!)
In the act of making this bed, I often find I have fallen into a sort of trance or meditation- going through the motions that are now so repetitive that I am hardly aware of moving. I often rouse myself to find that the bed has miraculously made itself at my hands. My mind has drifted off to a what I can only describe as a calming place of worship. No thoughts or worry or agenda- just a feeling of deep calm and peacefulness. This is the point of ritual I have come to believe.
I make this bed in honor of the next soul coming to stay and find rest. It pleases me on a level so deep that I was not even aware of it until I read Barbara Biziou’s book.
According to her, five elements are essential to set apart a ritual:
Intention- the act must have a purpose, such as my bed making for the next guests.
Sequence-the act must have a beginning and end to signify the time that has been set aside to perform it. Mine happens to be each day after breakfast when the previous night’s guest has checked out and left. It starts with the stripped bed and ends with the bed made.
Sacred space- in order to affect consciousness, rituals must have a space that puts the ritual outside of daily routine. In my world, the guest rooms are my sacred space. This is outside the realm of my not so sacred living room!
Ingredients-symbolic elements that denote a special event or activity: my guests get the finest linens treated in the best way I know how. The beds are the best mattresses I can buy and the rooms are lovely clean and peaceful. My poor husband wishes he slept so well!
Personal Meaning- the ritual must signify something to your heart that reaches you. For me, this is the very heart of why I run a bed and breakfast.
I challenge you today to take time to discover your own ritual- or rituals in your everyday life. Start with the routine chores you do every day, and rethink your attitude about them. We do repetitive things in our lives because they provide something for us- stability, reassurance, comfort. Find what makes you feel peaceful and calm and claim your ritual with joy!
There is a certain way of doing things in daily life that can be burdensome if done with the wrong attitude. Obviously, making beds can be one of those chores. My friends often ask how I can do this day after day. I have discovered, that for me, this is far from burdensome. I take the task to heart.
Making a bed has become a very sacred ritual with me. In knowing that my guest will sleep on the most comfortable mattress, in the cleanest, whitest, softest sheets, Ironed to perfection, I am accomplishing in a small yet significant way what I consider my main goal in life-leaving every day a bit better than I found it.
A number of my guests are here to interview with Otterbein University for a faculty position. In these tough economic times, many are new graduates from doctorate programs, carrying heavy loads of student loan debt. The job market is bleak, they tell me and the opportunity is extremely important to them. Knowing the stress of traveling, adjusting to new surroundings and trying to get a good night sleep before being grilled by a bevy of college professors, I try to make sure that they have comfort in their sleep here. I take my bed making very seriously- a ritual of sorts that completes my day.
In her book, The Joy of Ritual, Barbara Biziuo explains that we perform rituals in our everyday life without ever acknowledging the comfort they bring to us. She suggests that by becoming mentally aware of these rituals, we can enhance our lives and satisfy our “hunger for community and communion” in our lives. Rituals reach a deeper sense of ourselves:”expanding our consciousness and connecting us to the great mystery of life.”
My bed making begins with a clean slate. I have stripped the bed from the day before and changed the mattress pad and blankets as needs. Freshly laundered sheets, rinsed twice in lavender water then hung to dry outside on the line (weather permitting,) have been lovingly ironed to a smooth finish that makes them lay against the skin like silk. Then two fresh blankets- one thin blanket sheet and one heavier waffle weave for warmth, are carefully laid out and tucked in with mitered corners on the side taught to me by my mother who learned proper bed making in nursing school.
With sheets and blankets pulled tightly and tucked, I spread out the silk or velvet comforter on top. In warmer weather, I trade these out for cotton matelasse bedspreads and shams. Fluffing pillows and arranging them, I finish with a newly folded down comforter at the foot of the bed- just inviting my new guest to kick their shoes off, crawl on top and snuggle in for a nap. (And many do!)
In the act of making this bed, I often find I have fallen into a sort of trance or meditation- going through the motions that are now so repetitive that I am hardly aware of moving. I often rouse myself to find that the bed has miraculously made itself at my hands. My mind has drifted off to a what I can only describe as a calming place of worship. No thoughts or worry or agenda- just a feeling of deep calm and peacefulness. This is the point of ritual I have come to believe.
I make this bed in honor of the next soul coming to stay and find rest. It pleases me on a level so deep that I was not even aware of it until I read Barbara Biziou’s book.
According to her, five elements are essential to set apart a ritual:
Intention- the act must have a purpose, such as my bed making for the next guests.
Sequence-the act must have a beginning and end to signify the time that has been set aside to perform it. Mine happens to be each day after breakfast when the previous night’s guest has checked out and left. It starts with the stripped bed and ends with the bed made.
Sacred space- in order to affect consciousness, rituals must have a space that puts the ritual outside of daily routine. In my world, the guest rooms are my sacred space. This is outside the realm of my not so sacred living room!
Ingredients-symbolic elements that denote a special event or activity: my guests get the finest linens treated in the best way I know how. The beds are the best mattresses I can buy and the rooms are lovely clean and peaceful. My poor husband wishes he slept so well!
Personal Meaning- the ritual must signify something to your heart that reaches you. For me, this is the very heart of why I run a bed and breakfast.
I challenge you today to take time to discover your own ritual- or rituals in your everyday life. Start with the routine chores you do every day, and rethink your attitude about them. We do repetitive things in our lives because they provide something for us- stability, reassurance, comfort. Find what makes you feel peaceful and calm and claim your ritual with joy!
Posted by Becky Rainey.
